Latest 'Scary Movie' is frighteningly unfunny

Monday, May 6, 2013 - 11:19

LOS ANGELES (AP) — You have to at least give “Scary Movie 5” points for timeliness. This latest installment of the horror movie spoof franchise manages to deliver parodies of movies as recent as last week’s “Evil Dead” remake, not to mention one that hasn’t even been made yet (“Fifty Shades of Gray”). But those points are immediately subtracted by the fact that this Wayans-less installment doesn’t manage to wrest a single laugh from any one of them.

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee and co-written and produced by the venerable David Zucker (“Airplane,” ‘‘The Naked Gun”), it demonstrates that the latter has definitely lost his comic mojo.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve already seen the most notorious segment, in which Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan enthusiastically — if sadly — make fun of their naughty personas in a clownish opening sex sequence riffing on the “Paranormal Activity” series. It’s pretty much all downhill from there.

It’s mostly a jumbled-together collection of sketches riffing on a disparate group of films including “Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” ‘‘Inception,” ‘‘Cabin in the Woods,” ‘‘Paranormal Activity” and its sequels and even “Black Swan.” Resembling the sort of lame bits relegated to the closing minutes of “Saturday Night Live” when airtime must be filled and featuring narration by a Morgan Freeman sound-alike, their collective lameness is numbing. Director Lee periodically speeds up the film to produce a comic effect, although sadly not enough to reduce its seemingly interminable 85-minute running time. Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language, some drug material, partial nudity, comic violence and gore. Running time: 85 minutes.

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