Alaska Star - Off Beat News:

Crook stuffed 75 bottles of lotion in pants
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Police say a Massachusetts man who allegedly stuffed 75 bottles of body lotion in his pants couldn't make a smooth getaway, hampered by slacks that were nearly bursting at the seams.

Police nab suspected shoe thief
NEWARK, Del. — Newark Police have arrested a 46-year-old man they say is responsible for the theft of thousands of shoes after recovering much of the stolen property at the suspect's house.

Father arrested after he ordered kids to bite officers
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Police in Colorado arrested a 28-year-old man accused of passing out in a McDonald's play area and telling his two children to bite the officers who were trying to arrest him.

Man claims deputies beat him for burping
Thomas Scott Vandegrift made the allegations in a federal lawsuit filed last week against several deputies, the city, the sheriff's office and the sheriff. According to the lawsuit, the deputies were annoyed by Vandegrift's burping, which was caused by acid reflux.

Ohio strip club hosts 'Lap dances for Haiti'
TOLEDO, Ohio — A strip club in Ohio has raised $1,000 for Haitian earthquake relief during what was billed as "Lap dances for Haiti."

Man steals ambulance with patient inside
MADISON, Wis. — Authorities say a drunken man stole an ambulance from a Wisconsin ski area with the patient and paramedics still inside.

Thieves swipe Twinkies, leave tracks in snow
KINGSPORT, Tenn. — It was a Zinger of a theft in Tennessee.

Dog, man's best friend, shoots owner in the back
LOS BANOS, Calif. — One California hunting dog apparently takes the term a bit too literally.

Man stopped while trying to break into, not out of, Oregon jail
PETA proposed robotic groundhog