AUGUSTA, Ga. Ñ P.J. Franklin has an air of calm about her. Her Christmas shopping was done nearly two weeks early. Her budget isn't broken, and she expects that her family won't be disappointed with the celebration.
“People think it's the material things, but Christmas is mostly about family, love and happiness,” the Belvedere resident said. “I've kept it simple.”
An only child who grew up poor, Franklin was taught that Christmas is not just about wish lists, gift tags and price tags. She instilled that in her children.
“I taught them (that) giving time, love and attention was worth more than anything you can buy,” she said. “We always had a lot of love and a lot of times we made things or promised to do chores. We were happy.”
At Christmas, happiness is more likely to get lost among the chaos.
“A lot of people are stressed out over the holidays,” said Sarah Roberts, the communications director for the Center for the New American Dream. “They get caught up in shopping and spending and going to parties, they overwhelm themselves. They forget the true meaning.”
Many Americans know they're losing something in hustle and bustle, according to an annual poll conducted by the group, which advocates simplifying Christmastime.
In its 2005 survey, nearly 80 percent of respondents said they would like to have a more simplified Christmas season. About 75 percent wished that the December holidays were less materialistic and 87 percent said the holidays should be more about family and caring for others rather than giving and receiving gifts. Only 28 percent of those polled said it is necessary to spend a lot of money to have a fulfilling and enjoyable Christmas.
The poll results match the sentiment of Jo Robinson, a co-author (with Jean Coppock Staeheli) of Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season, a book on simplifying and reconnecting to Christmas.
A lot of people were feeling not only unfulfilled but also frenzied when the two women began conducting college workshops on simplifying the season. Robinson said they thought it would just be one course. The demand was so great it led to the book.
Robinson said they were surprised to learn how many husbands felt excluded during the holidays, and how many wives and mothers ran themselves ragged trying to make perfect Christmas memories.
Wrapped up in all the talk about commercialism and materialism, long lines, unhappy children and fond memories was the idea that Christmas was becoming too much of a chore.
“We saw a lot of people going through Christmas mechanically. They hadn't defined their Christmas or their response to it. It wasn't satisfying to them,” she said. “We came up with the idea that you could unplug this machine, that you can take away the frantic, busy part of Christmas and re-create something that had more meaning and would be more joyful. It was a very powerful idea.”
For good reason.
“Christmas is just a magnification of what happens the rest of the year,” Robinson said. “We've become a very consumer-oriented, possession-oriented culture, also a frantic culture in which we don't spend enough time, relaxed time, with each other. We work really hard to buy things and we're in debt.”
“The problem is we expect more out of Christmas than a bigger spending spree. We want it to be magical and bring people closer together and connect us to things that are larger than ourselves, to renew our spirituality.
“And when we have those wishes, and we go about doing those things that make that impossible, Christmas can seem very empty.”
What makes it worse is feeling the emptiness and not knowing how to fix it, Robinson said.
“They know that they think it's too commercial with too many gifts, but they don't know what to replace it with,” Robinson said. “They aren't focusing on what they want. That's what we encourage people with. Just spend half an hour to find out what it means to you.”
The important thing is to start take it slow, she said. The “Christmas machine” wasn't built overnight.
“It is a gradual process, especially with children. We're not saying say this year you got 15 gifts last year and now you're getting one. That's not going to work,” she said. “Increase the meaning first, so there's something more than gifts to look forward to.”
Reach the reporter at news@alaskastar.com.
